A man and his beanie. By Twitarded

Sí, Is, has leído bien, de Twitarded. Pero no te pongas roja que esta entrada no es porno (las porno te las mando por correo privado!). Tanto beanie pa'rriba, beanie pa'bajo que no me he podido resistir a poner esta entrada de ellas.

De cómo evolucionó su gusto por el beanie, de empezar odiándolo a terminar sintiendo verdadero...eeeeeh...cariño por él. Iba a traducirla pero está escrita en primera persona y me he dado cuenta de que hay cosas que me sacan los colores, así que la dejo tal cual (a lo mejor un poco subidita ya es, shhhhh!). Si necesitáis ayuda con el slang calenturiento, encantada de echar una mano ;)

I will admit, when I first fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Robert Pattinson, I was not a big fan of the black beanie. I'm not sure if it's because the evil beanie covered up that mop of unruly hair I love so much, or if I just thought it was incredibly stupid looking. I don't know. Things have happened over the past year plus that we've been in love, and well, I've accepted the beanie. I may even love it too.

As I've gone back in time to try and figure out exactly how my hatred for the beanie first began, I came across a couple of photos that will help me explain. While revisiting said photos, I realized that it wasn't the beanie I hated. There were other aspects of these photos that bothered me so much, I was taking it out on the beanie. My apologies to the beanie. I was wrong.

Exhibit #1: The brown puffy leather coat.

I need this fucking thing to meet it's death now. I hate the coat so much, I want to burn it in pile of smelly dog shit. It appears that by pairing the beanie with that monstrosity, the beanie got a bad rap.

Exhibit #2: The pits.

I've never been a fan of this picture. First of all, dude, extra deodorant if you're going to wear a light colored shirt. So that gets me to thinking... if he forgot his deodorant, maybe he forgot to wash his hair too and that dirty beanie is covering up some dirty, greasy hair. Ick.

But as time went by, I forgave RPattz for his shortcomings. I no longer give a rat's ass if he never bathes in his entire life. This does not change the fact that he could possibly be the most attractive human being on earth. And if earth's hottest inhabitant would like to wear a black beanie, I will accept it and love it. And I may even wash it for him if he asks real nice.

Exhibit #3: That fucking heavenly V Man shoot.

Fuck me, I love the beanie. This photo renders me speechless. My tongue stops working. Ok, that's a lie. It will work for things involving the precious and certain of his parts, it just stops working for forming complete sentences.

Exhibit #4: Beanie + Stoli Shirt = Wet Panties

If there's one thing I love in this crazy world, it's old, ratty, worn t-shirts. I have t-shirts that are 20 years old so I can appreciate wanting to hold onto an awesome t-shirt no matter how many holes it has. As much as I'd like to tear this t-shirt off him with my teeth, I will respect the Stoli shirt and fondle handle it with care.

Exhibit #5: Lip bitey in the beanie = win.

Does he do this on purpose? Does he see a camera and think to himself "I'm going to bite my lip in this photo - it drives the ladies mad!" I doubt it. He has no idea that all these sexy little quirky things he does totally deplete the world's panty supply.

Exhibit #6: Jaaaaaaaaaw pooooooooorn.

What? He's wearing a beanie in this picture? Sorry, I didn't notice. Too busy slowly licking that jaw. Aaaaaaand great, my computer screen is all slimed up and hmm, that didn't taste good at all.

Exhibit #7: The piece de resistance!

If you missed this little clip from the Eclipse preview on the New Moon DVD, enjoy it now (if you're anti-spoiler, I honestly don't think this will give anything away.) For some strange reason, the combination of black beanie, funny corset-like harness, shorts and black socks makes me want to lick every inch of his freshly-sweaty-from-running body!

So, there you have it. It seems that my feelings for the beanie have been on an evolutionary roller coaster. I was lost, but now I'm found. I have seen the light, and that light is a sexy black beanie. I would sell a kidney to feel that thing between my thighs. Even with all the proof I've displayed above of the beanie boners bonuses, I still think it would look best on top of a pile of his clothes on the floor next to my bed.

Amen!

(la #6 es bru-tal, cada vez que veo esas fotos se me queda la boca abierta y la mirada perdida...y siento que no le hacemos justicia si dejamos sin mencionar los sexpenders que llevaba ese día. La gente normal puede llevar suspenders (tirantes), los de Rob son sexpenders claro y no los lleva, los deja colgando...*sigh*)