The Matter of Marriage

Es un artículo fan que han publicado en Eyes of Amber y me parece que analiza muy bien los sentimientos de Edward y Bella en cuanto a la cuestión del matrimonio, que se plantea al final de New Moon y se convierte en fundamental a lo largo de Eclipse (Braking Daw, Breaking Dawn!). Consigue expresarlo mucho mejor de lo que yo podría hacerlo y estoy totalmente de acuerdo con todo lo que dice, por eso he querido ponerlo aquí para compartirlo.

Recently, I've had a few brief-but-interesting conversations with a friend of mine regarding the Twilight saga. To my knowledge he has not read the books, but he has seen both movies, and has expressed his enjoyment of New Moon. A unicorn? No, not really. Maybe we'll call him the Almost-Unicorn. He does, however, have a deep appreciation for vampire stories, and, most importantly, an open mind to the details. In a discussion yesterday regarding New Moon, he posed a question:

"What is so shocking about a marriage proposal when the item on the table is immortality?"

Now, granted, he's referring to the final moment of the film here, but the end of New Moon, and nearly all of Eclipse (and even a littleBreaking Dawn) is filled with Bella's rather extreme reservations regarding marriage. I know he's not alone in wondering this question. Even I, over-analyzer extraordinaire, was initially confused by this. Marriage seems such a small detail, when you're talking about becoming an immortal being, possibly risking your soul, with the same person who's proposing marriage to you. Just have the wedding already! What's the big deal, Bella? Conversely, why wait on details, Edward? Doesn't making her an immortal vampire essentially amount to the same thing?

Answer: It is a big deal. And, no, it doesn't amount to the same thing.

I realize that in our current time, marriage is much the subject of debate on the technicalities. I don't wish to discuss religion or politics with you, though. Can we agree on...tradition? Only in the context that marriage is intended to be a forever agreement, between two people that love each other deeply. Can we all agree to that for the moment? As long as we both shall live....

Bella hardly has the example of a solid marriage. Her parents marriage was over before it really started, and long before she would have been old enough to witness it in action. Her mother is flighty and prone to only dabbling in things that seem interesting at the time. Given this, how is Bella to know that her mother's new marriage is any different from the various new fads her mother has tried at one point or another. She even tells Edward at one point that, to her, marriage and eternity are not necessarily mutually inclusive or exclusive concepts. She is hung up on a corrupted concept of the idea. The idea that marriage is a trivial thing, subject to the scrutiny of others, putting yourself and your chosen one up for either acceptance or judgment. She is missing the point, that the concept of marriage is a covenant between two people, both an agreement and a declaration of choice.

Choice is the word I want to focus on here. Hand in hand with the theme of humanity in the series, is choice. That the choices you make with the lot you've been given make all the difference. And here is another choice. A choice to tie yourself to someone, to be with them, for all eternity, whatever eternity deals you.

There's a difference between falling in love with someone, and choosing to love them. Falling in love is great, but the true power of a relationship comes from choosing to love that person. Falling is subject to emotional whiplash. Choosing allows you to deal with all of the issues, and still love the person you have chosen.

Edward has seen more than a century, and is just now beginning to see his own humanity, By mid-Eclipse, he has admitted to wanting Bella to be immortal, so that he can have her forever, and confessed to the feelings of selfishness that it creates. Combine that with the Jacob factor. He knows Bella has feelings for Jacob, as well. Can you blame the guy for wanting a formal declaration of choice?

It's important, in the end, for both Bella and Edward to get married. The symbolism of choice. "I choose to be with you, forever and for always." That is much more powerful than..."You bit me, and I became a vampire, and now you are stuck with me."

Bella finally understands this, at least at some level by the end ofEclipse. "I will tie myself to you, in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal." Even with her reservations about the spectacle of the event, it's the concept that's important.

I hope I am making sense in trying to explain my views on this subject.